I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Martian refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row.
I woo the masses with my godlike trombone playing, I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in ambiguity, and an outlaw in Peru.
Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello, I was scouted by the Yankees, I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I'm bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays, after school, I repair electrical appliances free of charge.
I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don't perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller number nine and have won the weekend passes. Last summer, I toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal-force demonstration. I bat .400. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me.
I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed several covert operations for the CIA. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery.
The laws of physics do not apply to me.
I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago, I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four course meals using only a mouli and a toaster oven. I breed prizewinning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin. I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis.
But I have not yet gone to college.
Okay, so none of this is actually true and has nothing to do with me, well, besides the laws of gravity part. This entry is supposedly a college essay that an actual student submitted that can be found around the Internet. I use this essay when teaching students about how they shouldn't write essays. I'm truly from Winston-Salem, NC and was a North Carolina Teaching Fellow at East Carolina University, where I attained a bachelor's degree in English and English Education; I promise. So, now you hopefully know a little more about me, well maybe, but I'm super excited for this class and can't wait to begin this semester's adventure.
Teacher Insight: The teacher and students are to be a unit, preferably family-oriented. I want students to feel safe, comfortable, and up for debatable discourse. I feel that it essential to express to them that I may not always be right and it is okay for them to have their own opinions. A major ideology I want to get across to students is for them to be comfortable in developing their own ideas and standing behind them, based on the content they determine to be significant. Under the Socio-constructed Learning Approach we construct information in the learning process. “We” is the focal point. Learning is not strictly dependent on the teacher or the students. Under this approach, learning is long-term and ongoing. It is okay to make mistakes and take risks.
I woo the masses with my godlike trombone playing, I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in ambiguity, and an outlaw in Peru.
Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello, I was scouted by the Yankees, I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I'm bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays, after school, I repair electrical appliances free of charge.
I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don't perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller number nine and have won the weekend passes. Last summer, I toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal-force demonstration. I bat .400. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me.
I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed several covert operations for the CIA. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery.
The laws of physics do not apply to me.
I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago, I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four course meals using only a mouli and a toaster oven. I breed prizewinning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin. I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis.
But I have not yet gone to college.
Okay, so none of this is actually true and has nothing to do with me, well, besides the laws of gravity part. This entry is supposedly a college essay that an actual student submitted that can be found around the Internet. I use this essay when teaching students about how they shouldn't write essays. I'm truly from Winston-Salem, NC and was a North Carolina Teaching Fellow at East Carolina University, where I attained a bachelor's degree in English and English Education; I promise. So, now you hopefully know a little more about me, well maybe, but I'm super excited for this class and can't wait to begin this semester's adventure.
Teacher Insight: The teacher and students are to be a unit, preferably family-oriented. I want students to feel safe, comfortable, and up for debatable discourse. I feel that it essential to express to them that I may not always be right and it is okay for them to have their own opinions. A major ideology I want to get across to students is for them to be comfortable in developing their own ideas and standing behind them, based on the content they determine to be significant. Under the Socio-constructed Learning Approach we construct information in the learning process. “We” is the focal point. Learning is not strictly dependent on the teacher or the students. Under this approach, learning is long-term and ongoing. It is okay to make mistakes and take risks.